January Relationship Blues

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We have all felt the strain on the relationship this January, from money issues, to heating bills, to the usual cooking and cleaning routine. January is the month with the highest rate of divorce according to the courts. Is it because many people want a fresh start at the New Year?

January – the doom month?
Some couples who've been planning to break up choose to avoid disrupting their families during the holidays. Others may be hoping that their situation or their partner's behaviors will change, and we all know that by sticking our head in the sand nothing will change.

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January Relationship Blues
Image Credit: marcandangel

It has been said that because January is the coldest month of the year, apparently, the Arctic vibe extends beyond the temperature. Rumour has it that January is ominously nicknamed "Divorce Month" in legal circles. Sure, the break can be hectic, and relationship issues can come into sharper focus when stressed-out couples spend more time together.

We are all different
Every relationship has its ups and downs, but unfortunately so many couples find themselves working against each other when times are tough. Financial situations are the number one cause of marital quarrels. The anger that arises during these spats commonly leads to other problems such as complete communication break downs, affairs, and even verbal, emotional, or physical abuse by one or the other, or even both partners.

My partner and I have had some challenging problems along the way, I mean, who hasn’t, especially in the past year with money becoming even more of an issue, but we have met them head on, and more importantly, together. There are many ways a couple can avoid turning hard times into bad times and then worst case, ending what was once a beautiful relationship.  Here are some of the tips that I’ve tried and tested.

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Programme ‘me’ time
Every couple needs separate ‘me’ time. We all work long, tiring days, so when you get home not many people really feel like making an effort to do something with your partner for the rest of the night. So why not let him go off down the pub for a pint to watch the football whilst you have a hot bubble bath and read a relaxing book?

Show some love
It is hands down, no questions asked the most important factor in a relationship; a simple kiss and a hug every single day is all it takes to keep the intimacy going. Touching is imperative!

Quality time
We try to go to bed around the same time at night and lie there for at least 15 minutes and just chat about anything and everything, what happened in our day, our plans for the weekend, the news. That time when nothing else is going on and you can just have a laugh with each other has become something we really look forward to.

Acceptance
It is very important to accept each other's different opinions. You do not need to agree with one another, but accept each other's ideas and suggestions as a possible solution – remember to hear them out!

Compromise
As stated above, no two minds work the same. Therefore, compromise is the most powerful tool a couple can use to keep their relationship strong and happy. You each may have your own ideas, but when you combine them, the solution to any current problems will surface quicker than if you do not work together.

Make a date
Make dates and anticipate them with excitement. Dress up and look your best. Discover a new cologne or perfume. Why not go for a romantic getaway in a historical city like Cambridge, or another romantic city nearby. Spend a night in a short term luxury apartment, private accommodation with no set times for eating, you can wine and dine your loved one, just to re-tingle that spark! If your budget limits you to a rental DVD at home, change it up. Roll out the cheese, crackers, strawberries and champagne instead of the usual popcorn. Turn off the lights and let your fireplace illuminate the room. No fireplace? Candles do just as well. The desire to look your best, feel your best and have the best time possible will rejuvenate those feelings of the very first date.

Keep the magic going
Ever thought any of these phrases when describing your relationship/partner?

•    "The magic just isn't there anymore."
•    "He's not the man I fell in love with."

Yes? Unfortunately these phrases are becoming more and more common – your partner just isn’t as amazing as they used to be. Don’t worry! It's not the end of the world, and it is definitely a problem that can be fixed.

Remember to keep kissing. Studies have shown that couples in failing relationships stop kissing each other on the lips long before they stop having sex. Many people feel that kissing is much more intimate than sex - I agree!

Long Distance?
Every relationship takes hard work and dedication, and long- distance relationships are no exception, like most they require trust, honesty, communication, respect and commitment. So how do you keep the love going when you’re hundreds or thousands of miles apart?

Communication – you need to keep in regular contact, make plenty of phone calls, face time, texting, Skype, web cams– anything you can use!

Always be honest and the lines of communication open, try and be loving over text, get into a heart-to-heart conversation reaffirming why you are together – always mention how much you miss them, especially before bed time, so you can be in their unconscious thoughts.

Trust; the be all and end all for long distance relationships. No trust = your relationship is like the titanic, a sinking ship. Of course it is normal to be worried, especially about adultery/cheating, but you have to put that behind you (easier said than done, I know!) and focus on finding ways to reaffirm your relationship even when you aren’t with each other so you feel safe and secure in the knowledge that they love you.

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Karen
About the Author:

As the owner of two successful businesses it’s a surprise Karen gets any time to think about romance, but she has successfully kept the romance going in her 3 years with her partner. As she’s often travelling for business and leisure, she knows the best places to stay so when the chance arises for a romantic getaway they always opt for Citystay’s luxury apartments.

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